Today marks 19 years since the first time my hubby and I kissed. We were just friends then, and in fact, if memory serves, he had a girlfriend at the time (although they were in the process of breaking up). Despite all that, I can still remember the events of the day pretty clearly.
We were on spring break from high school (he was a senior, I was a junior) and he asked me to come over and hang out one afternoon. It was the first time I had ever been to his house, and I met his mom and sister that day. We went up to his bedroom, ostensibly to watch tv/play games, but once we got into his room, he shut the door, turned around, and started kissing me.
I remember that it felt both odd and yet comfortably familiar, as if this was something we always did. It was unexpected, and yet not. After a few minutes, I made him stop, but then a little while later, being the wanton hussy that I am, I encouraged him to do it again ;)
We didn't officially become a couple for another two and a half years after that, although we were pretty much "friends with benefits" from that point forward. I think one day I woke up and realized that I had been in love with him for a long time... it just took me a while to get there.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
One-liners, gender, and other thoughts
I feel like because I've been facebooking more than blogging recently, I can no longer write more than one or two lines at a time. Ideas pop into my head for stuff I want to write, but it's never much. For instance:
"The best thing about being pregnant after losing 120 lbs: no stretch marks thanks to all the extra skin!"
I don't have anything beyond that, just one line. Ah well.
In other news, we have our mid-pregnancy ultrasound scheduled for next week, and we may have the option of finding out the baby's gender. I'll admit that I'm curious, although the only real difference it makes to me is knowing which list of names I should concentrate on, and whether I should keep or get rid of the stash of baby girl clothes I've accumulated over the years or have my sister retrieve Jacob's baby clothes from her attic. But it seems like everyone around me is in a frenzy, needing to know right now what gender I'm having. I must get asked by the same people at least 3 or 4 times each week. It almost makes me NOT want to find out...
"The best thing about being pregnant after losing 120 lbs: no stretch marks thanks to all the extra skin!"
I don't have anything beyond that, just one line. Ah well.
In other news, we have our mid-pregnancy ultrasound scheduled for next week, and we may have the option of finding out the baby's gender. I'll admit that I'm curious, although the only real difference it makes to me is knowing which list of names I should concentrate on, and whether I should keep or get rid of the stash of baby girl clothes I've accumulated over the years or have my sister retrieve Jacob's baby clothes from her attic. But it seems like everyone around me is in a frenzy, needing to know right now what gender I'm having. I must get asked by the same people at least 3 or 4 times each week. It almost makes me NOT want to find out...
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Wednesday wanderings
Today our car was in the shop and I had an appointment with my acupuncturist at his new office, so between the subway ride and the office I was able to peruse a Philly neighborhood I haven't spent much time in -- Fairmount. It's very cute there, and if I lived there I could walk to both my school and to Whole Foods (which I did after my appointment and had a lovely lunch -- vegetarian sushi and a chocolate croissant! Yum!) Unfortunately, the houses there are very expensive... *sigh*
I think a lot about moving. I like my house, but as I've probably mentioned a million time in this blog, I really don't like our neighborhood. Matt's job requires us to live within the city limits, and although I like living in the city I don't appreciate the fact that his employer dictates where we can live. I would love to move across the bridge to New Jersey, where the homeschooling laws are better, but that will have to wait until I finish college and become the primary wage-earner (I can hardly wait!) In the meantime, there are some Philly neighborhoods I certainly wouldn't mind considering, like East Mount Airy. The thought of the actual act of moving, however... oy....
I think a lot about moving. I like my house, but as I've probably mentioned a million time in this blog, I really don't like our neighborhood. Matt's job requires us to live within the city limits, and although I like living in the city I don't appreciate the fact that his employer dictates where we can live. I would love to move across the bridge to New Jersey, where the homeschooling laws are better, but that will have to wait until I finish college and become the primary wage-earner (I can hardly wait!) In the meantime, there are some Philly neighborhoods I certainly wouldn't mind considering, like East Mount Airy. The thought of the actual act of moving, however... oy....
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
It's been a while...
Almost a year since I posted anything here. Wow. And so much has changed since my last post!
Total weight loss to date is approximately 120 lbs. I still have about 30 more lbs I want to lose, but that will actually have to wait a while because I am pregnant.
Yes, it's true... after more than eight years of trying to get pregnant, then not trying, then trying to adopt, then not trying to adopt, then trying to get pregnant yet again, not getting pregnant, making peace with the idea of never having another biological child, and completing most of the paperwork necessary in order to pursue a domestic infant adoption, surprise! Without even trying, it happened. Weird.
It's been really difficult to wrap my head around. While I'm definitely happy to be having another child, it isn't the way I planned and so I've had to process a lot of different, conflicting emotions surrounding the whole thing. I have so many unanswerable questions in my brain all the time. Such as, why did my body decide to work NOW but not for the past 8+ years? (Even longer if you count the time I spent in infertility treatment for my first pregnancy). And, what about all the really hard work I did and money we spent on the adoption? Do we just discard that now?
As I've been driving myself slowly insane with all the wondering and questions, it has occurred to me that I process things best through writing. And so it's back to my blog I go, to try and sort through my thoughts in print rather than allow them to cloud my mind. I thought about starting a brand-new blog, since the things I'm dealing with now are vastly different than what I've blogged about in the past, but I don't know if I'll go that route or not. For now, I'm back here, and so far, it feels good :)
Total weight loss to date is approximately 120 lbs. I still have about 30 more lbs I want to lose, but that will actually have to wait a while because I am pregnant.
Yes, it's true... after more than eight years of trying to get pregnant, then not trying, then trying to adopt, then not trying to adopt, then trying to get pregnant yet again, not getting pregnant, making peace with the idea of never having another biological child, and completing most of the paperwork necessary in order to pursue a domestic infant adoption, surprise! Without even trying, it happened. Weird.
It's been really difficult to wrap my head around. While I'm definitely happy to be having another child, it isn't the way I planned and so I've had to process a lot of different, conflicting emotions surrounding the whole thing. I have so many unanswerable questions in my brain all the time. Such as, why did my body decide to work NOW but not for the past 8+ years? (Even longer if you count the time I spent in infertility treatment for my first pregnancy). And, what about all the really hard work I did and money we spent on the adoption? Do we just discard that now?
As I've been driving myself slowly insane with all the wondering and questions, it has occurred to me that I process things best through writing. And so it's back to my blog I go, to try and sort through my thoughts in print rather than allow them to cloud my mind. I thought about starting a brand-new blog, since the things I'm dealing with now are vastly different than what I've blogged about in the past, but I don't know if I'll go that route or not. For now, I'm back here, and so far, it feels good :)
Thursday, February 26, 2009
100
Okay, so I've been claiming my 100-pound loss ever since I hit about 94 lbs lost. But now it's finally official. I never in a million years thought that I would be capable of something like this, and though I'm not usually one to brag about my own accomplishments, I have to say it feels pretty goddamn good.
To mark the milestone, I've written a list of things I've learned on the way to my 100-pound loss. (It was originally going to be a list of 100 things, but let's get real -- who can think of 100 things? and who has time to read all that?) Some of these are just personal observations, some are tips I've used and feel are worth repeating. Most of it could be taken as advice, even though I hate giving advice (because how can I possibly know what's right for anyone else? I have enough trouble keeping my own life in order! But when you lose 100 lbs, people start asking.)
So, without further ado...
If you can only do one type of exercise, do strength training (aka: weight training, resistance training, weight lifting). Building stronger muscles will improve your overall metabolism, so you'll use calories more efficiently even when you're not exercising (you'll burn fat in your sleep, dude.)
Baby steps. You can't go from being a total shlub to running marathons. Seriously -- I started working out for just 30 minutes, two times a week, and worked my way up from there. Now I hit the gym at least 3 times a week (for at least an hour) and I try to get a walk or run in on the days I don't go, or sometimes a yoga class. And nobody was ever a bigger shlub than me.
Love thyself. Seriously, this is HUGE. All the times I started a diet and/or exercise plan because I hated what saw in the mirror or the number on the scale/BMI chart/clothing label, I failed. When I made a conscious decision to take better care of the body I have, so that my body could better take care of me, I was able to make permanent changes.
Shit happens. Nobody is perfect. I make mistakes. I slack off. I eat pizza. I drink alcohol. Monthly hormonal fluctuations occur. Holidays take place. I gain pounds back. It happens. I have to keep loving myself through it, and taking care of my body, rather than letting one setback lead to a total meltdown. As my friend Joe says, "This too shall pass."
Sometimes, you need hand-holding. I can't stress enough how big of an influence my personal trainer has been on my life. I trained with her for a year and a half, and I still go to her for help when my workout routines get stale or when I just need advice or encouragement. She taught me how to exercise, and more importantly, she pushed me beyond what I ever thought I was capable of doing. My Weight Watchers leader is also a huge help to me. She's funny and patient and encouraging, and I look forward to seeing her every week.
If you hate it, it's probably good for you. Not food, but exercise. I was once told that you should find an exercise you like, and do that, because if you're doing something you hate, it's not good for your stress level. Maybe so, but I've found that if I enjoy something, it's probably because it's super-easy (and therefore, will probably have no effect on my body). The stuff I hate, like squats, step-ups and the rowing machine, are the things that really get my heart pounding, my teeth gritting, and my body changing.
If you get stuck, change it up. I think I once heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results? Anyhow, yeah -- it's good to change things up every so often, especially if you're seeing the same number on the scale week after week. Try a new exercise, or try increasing the weight/time/intensity on something you already do. Try a new recipe or a new veggie. Make things interesting :)
I can't not eat pasta! Or birthday cake. Or butter. Any eating plan/diet that tells me I absolutely CAN'T eat a certain food is a setup for failure. It won't work in real life. For me, it only creates unhealthy obsessions with the forbidden foods. I think the trick is making healthier choices most of the time, and saving certain things for special occasions. That being said:
Whole wheat pasta is not bad at all. Neither is low-fat cheese, or fat-free yogurt. (I still don't like light mayo, though!) It helps to make healthier choices/substitutions. When the substitutions taste good, that is ;)
Slow and steady wins the race. It's taken me two years to get to the point I'm at now. but I think slowly developing heathy habits over time leads to permanent change (as opposed to quick fixes, like the cabbage soup diet!)
I have to belong to a gym. I have to have somewhere to go where exercise is all I can do, because otherwise I won't do it. I have about 20 exercise videos at home. Know how many I've done? One. Once. There are too many other things in my house I like to do better than exercise.
Get your thyroid checked. Seriously -- I know more people with thyroid problems than without. If I hear that someone's having trouble with their weight, the first thing I ask is whether they've had their thyroid checked. And if your doctor says your levels are "normal", ask them for the numbers. And then call me ;)
To mark the milestone, I've written a list of things I've learned on the way to my 100-pound loss. (It was originally going to be a list of 100 things, but let's get real -- who can think of 100 things? and who has time to read all that?) Some of these are just personal observations, some are tips I've used and feel are worth repeating. Most of it could be taken as advice, even though I hate giving advice (because how can I possibly know what's right for anyone else? I have enough trouble keeping my own life in order! But when you lose 100 lbs, people start asking.)
So, without further ado...
If you can only do one type of exercise, do strength training (aka: weight training, resistance training, weight lifting). Building stronger muscles will improve your overall metabolism, so you'll use calories more efficiently even when you're not exercising (you'll burn fat in your sleep, dude.)
Baby steps. You can't go from being a total shlub to running marathons. Seriously -- I started working out for just 30 minutes, two times a week, and worked my way up from there. Now I hit the gym at least 3 times a week (for at least an hour) and I try to get a walk or run in on the days I don't go, or sometimes a yoga class. And nobody was ever a bigger shlub than me.
Love thyself. Seriously, this is HUGE. All the times I started a diet and/or exercise plan because I hated what saw in the mirror or the number on the scale/BMI chart/clothing label, I failed. When I made a conscious decision to take better care of the body I have, so that my body could better take care of me, I was able to make permanent changes.
Shit happens. Nobody is perfect. I make mistakes. I slack off. I eat pizza. I drink alcohol. Monthly hormonal fluctuations occur. Holidays take place. I gain pounds back. It happens. I have to keep loving myself through it, and taking care of my body, rather than letting one setback lead to a total meltdown. As my friend Joe says, "This too shall pass."
Sometimes, you need hand-holding. I can't stress enough how big of an influence my personal trainer has been on my life. I trained with her for a year and a half, and I still go to her for help when my workout routines get stale or when I just need advice or encouragement. She taught me how to exercise, and more importantly, she pushed me beyond what I ever thought I was capable of doing. My Weight Watchers leader is also a huge help to me. She's funny and patient and encouraging, and I look forward to seeing her every week.
If you hate it, it's probably good for you. Not food, but exercise. I was once told that you should find an exercise you like, and do that, because if you're doing something you hate, it's not good for your stress level. Maybe so, but I've found that if I enjoy something, it's probably because it's super-easy (and therefore, will probably have no effect on my body). The stuff I hate, like squats, step-ups and the rowing machine, are the things that really get my heart pounding, my teeth gritting, and my body changing.
If you get stuck, change it up. I think I once heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results? Anyhow, yeah -- it's good to change things up every so often, especially if you're seeing the same number on the scale week after week. Try a new exercise, or try increasing the weight/time/intensity on something you already do. Try a new recipe or a new veggie. Make things interesting :)
I can't not eat pasta! Or birthday cake. Or butter. Any eating plan/diet that tells me I absolutely CAN'T eat a certain food is a setup for failure. It won't work in real life. For me, it only creates unhealthy obsessions with the forbidden foods. I think the trick is making healthier choices most of the time, and saving certain things for special occasions. That being said:
Whole wheat pasta is not bad at all. Neither is low-fat cheese, or fat-free yogurt. (I still don't like light mayo, though!) It helps to make healthier choices/substitutions. When the substitutions taste good, that is ;)
Slow and steady wins the race. It's taken me two years to get to the point I'm at now. but I think slowly developing heathy habits over time leads to permanent change (as opposed to quick fixes, like the cabbage soup diet!)
I have to belong to a gym. I have to have somewhere to go where exercise is all I can do, because otherwise I won't do it. I have about 20 exercise videos at home. Know how many I've done? One. Once. There are too many other things in my house I like to do better than exercise.
Get your thyroid checked. Seriously -- I know more people with thyroid problems than without. If I hear that someone's having trouble with their weight, the first thing I ask is whether they've had their thyroid checked. And if your doctor says your levels are "normal", ask them for the numbers. And then call me ;)
You can do it. Because I did it. I'm not Oprah -- I don't have zillions of dollars to hire a personal chef and a trainer who comes and gets me out of bed and watches me to make sure I don't eat crap. I'm a real woman with a home and a family and a million things to do every day. I'm not naturally skinny or energetic -- my metabolism is complete shit, because I have autoimmune thyroid disease AND hyperinsuliemia. Plus I have endometriosis, which means I'm in pain most days of the month. I have to fight with myself every damn day to get my sneakers on and get out the door, because I'd rather stay on the couch. But there hasn't been one moment when I haven't thought it was worth it. I'm worth it. I did it. I'm doing it. You can do it, too.
Me two years ago:
Me now:
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Quick, easy, yummy, and WW-friendly dinners
I like to cook, and so your definition of quick and easy may not be quite the same as mine, but I've come up with a few things recently that fit that category for me, taste good, and (for those who are counting) are less than 10 WW points per serving.
My friend Misty recently requested the pineapple shrimp recipe and gave it a rave review, so I thought I'd post it here in case anyone else wanted to try it:
Pineapple Shrimp
2 lbs. frozen raw shrimp, thawed, tails removed
1 tbsp. oil (I use canola)
1 20 oz. can pineapple chunks in juice, drained
1/2 bottle Lawry's Hawaiian marinade
crushed red pepper to taste (optional)
In large frying pan or wok, sauté shrimp in oil over high heat until cooked through (about 3-5 minutes). Add pineapple chunks, stir. Add marinade (and crushed pepper, if desired*), stir until coasted, lower heat to simmer and cook an additional 3-5 minutes. 1 cup = 3 WW points. Serve over 1/2 cup white or brown rice (2 points) with a side of steamed broccoli and cauliflower (or any other zero-points veggies).
*If some family members like crushed red pepper and others don't, it can be added to each individual serving.
I made this recently on a rare husband-and-kid-free evening, so it serves 1, but it could be easily modified to feed a whole family (assuming that unlike mine, your family wouldn't turn their noses up at the notion of eggs for dinner):
Eggs and Beans
2 eggs (or, for fewer points, use egg substitute)
cooking spray
1 can fat-free or vegetarian refried beans
1/2 jar salsa
1 oz shredded 50% reduced fat cheddar cheese
In small saucepan, heat beans and salsa over low heat, strring frequently. Coat frying pan with cooking spray and scramble eggs (or prepare them the way you prefer). When eggs are finished, add 1/2 of shredded cheese and allow to melt slightly before transferring eggs to plate. Measure 1/2 cup refried bean/salsa mixture onto plate, top with remaining cheese. 6 WW points. Serve with a side of steamed veggies or salad.
Let me know if you decide to try them and how they turn out!
My friend Misty recently requested the pineapple shrimp recipe and gave it a rave review, so I thought I'd post it here in case anyone else wanted to try it:
Pineapple Shrimp
2 lbs. frozen raw shrimp, thawed, tails removed
1 tbsp. oil (I use canola)
1 20 oz. can pineapple chunks in juice, drained
1/2 bottle Lawry's Hawaiian marinade
crushed red pepper to taste (optional)
In large frying pan or wok, sauté shrimp in oil over high heat until cooked through (about 3-5 minutes). Add pineapple chunks, stir. Add marinade (and crushed pepper, if desired*), stir until coasted, lower heat to simmer and cook an additional 3-5 minutes. 1 cup = 3 WW points. Serve over 1/2 cup white or brown rice (2 points) with a side of steamed broccoli and cauliflower (or any other zero-points veggies).
*If some family members like crushed red pepper and others don't, it can be added to each individual serving.
********
I made this recently on a rare husband-and-kid-free evening, so it serves 1, but it could be easily modified to feed a whole family (assuming that unlike mine, your family wouldn't turn their noses up at the notion of eggs for dinner):
Eggs and Beans
2 eggs (or, for fewer points, use egg substitute)
cooking spray
1 can fat-free or vegetarian refried beans
1/2 jar salsa
1 oz shredded 50% reduced fat cheddar cheese
In small saucepan, heat beans and salsa over low heat, strring frequently. Coat frying pan with cooking spray and scramble eggs (or prepare them the way you prefer). When eggs are finished, add 1/2 of shredded cheese and allow to melt slightly before transferring eggs to plate. Measure 1/2 cup refried bean/salsa mixture onto plate, top with remaining cheese. 6 WW points. Serve with a side of steamed veggies or salad.
Let me know if you decide to try them and how they turn out!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
TMI Tuesday - 2/10/09
Trying out another blog meme (thanks, Anna!)
1. What do you think is the un-sexiest part of the body?
Wow. It really depends on the person, because there are parts that may be cute on one person and not so much on another (toes, teeth, belly, butt crack... lol).
2. Toilet paper: over, under, or what the hell are you talking about?
I don't have a preference, but the hubby insists on "over".
3. Have you ever called in sick to stay in bed with a sexual partner?
Yes, I have. Skipped class, too :)
4. Did your parents have a "birds & bees" talk with you? If so, at what age?
My mom did. I was about 7, and she read to my sister and me from a book called "Where Did I Come From?" Jacob is almost ten, and I still haven't explained the mechanics to him, although I have answered specific questions. This has a lot to do with the fact that, although he is Matt's and my child biologically, he wasn't conceived the old-fashioned way. So it's like, "Well, honey, this is how babies are made, but you weren't made that way." My mom says he doesn't need to know the specifics yet, but I feel like if we're being frank enough to talk about penises and vaginas, we should be able to talk about intrauterine insemination. Wow, this really *is* TMI...
5. What is one thing someone could do to you to rock your world?
Whisk me away for a romantic trip without telling me beforehand.
I just finished reading Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner. I really enjoy her books. The characters are so true-to-life. And the fact that she's a super-cool mom living in Philly who writes books -- and gets them published, no less! -- gives me hope that maybe one day I can be, too :)
I went shopping for jeans today at Fashion Bug. They've recently instituted the same sizing as Lane Bryant has for their jeans, so there are three different options for women with different body types. While I love that clothing manufacturers are finally realizing that some of us are more blessed than others in the hips/ass department, this also means that they are ordering fewer pairs in each size. And because I wear one of the smallest "Plus" sizes, there are even fewer of that size. Suffice it to say that today, while shopping their "Buy one get one 50% off" sale, I was only able to find one stinkin' pair of jeans in my size.
And speaking of Fashion Bug and plus sizes, I was on their website the other day and noticed that their "Misses" (regular) sizes go up to 16, though their "Plus" sizes start at 14. So at first I thought, wow that's great! Now that I'm down to a 16 I can shop on the other side of Fashion Bug. Not so fast, fatty! I looked at the sizing charts for each size, and while a "Plus" 16 fits a 36-inch waist, a "Misses" 16 fits a 32-inch waist. And so, as you've already figured out, a "Plus" 14 fits a 34-inch waist and a "Misses" 14 fits a 30-inch waist. Which means, as I continue to lose weight and go down through the sizes, I will go from a 16 to a 14, and then back to a 16. WTF?!
Life is never dull...
1. What do you think is the un-sexiest part of the body?
Wow. It really depends on the person, because there are parts that may be cute on one person and not so much on another (toes, teeth, belly, butt crack... lol).
2. Toilet paper: over, under, or what the hell are you talking about?
I don't have a preference, but the hubby insists on "over".
3. Have you ever called in sick to stay in bed with a sexual partner?
Yes, I have. Skipped class, too :)
4. Did your parents have a "birds & bees" talk with you? If so, at what age?
My mom did. I was about 7, and she read to my sister and me from a book called "Where Did I Come From?" Jacob is almost ten, and I still haven't explained the mechanics to him, although I have answered specific questions. This has a lot to do with the fact that, although he is Matt's and my child biologically, he wasn't conceived the old-fashioned way. So it's like, "Well, honey, this is how babies are made, but you weren't made that way." My mom says he doesn't need to know the specifics yet, but I feel like if we're being frank enough to talk about penises and vaginas, we should be able to talk about intrauterine insemination. Wow, this really *is* TMI...
5. What is one thing someone could do to you to rock your world?
Whisk me away for a romantic trip without telling me beforehand.
********
I just finished reading Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner. I really enjoy her books. The characters are so true-to-life. And the fact that she's a super-cool mom living in Philly who writes books -- and gets them published, no less! -- gives me hope that maybe one day I can be, too :)
I went shopping for jeans today at Fashion Bug. They've recently instituted the same sizing as Lane Bryant has for their jeans, so there are three different options for women with different body types. While I love that clothing manufacturers are finally realizing that some of us are more blessed than others in the hips/ass department, this also means that they are ordering fewer pairs in each size. And because I wear one of the smallest "Plus" sizes, there are even fewer of that size. Suffice it to say that today, while shopping their "Buy one get one 50% off" sale, I was only able to find one stinkin' pair of jeans in my size.
And speaking of Fashion Bug and plus sizes, I was on their website the other day and noticed that their "Misses" (regular) sizes go up to 16, though their "Plus" sizes start at 14. So at first I thought, wow that's great! Now that I'm down to a 16 I can shop on the other side of Fashion Bug. Not so fast, fatty! I looked at the sizing charts for each size, and while a "Plus" 16 fits a 36-inch waist, a "Misses" 16 fits a 32-inch waist. And so, as you've already figured out, a "Plus" 14 fits a 34-inch waist and a "Misses" 14 fits a 30-inch waist. Which means, as I continue to lose weight and go down through the sizes, I will go from a 16 to a 14, and then back to a 16. WTF?!
Life is never dull...
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