Apolitical

The first presidential primaries will be taking place the next few weeks. Want to know something? I don't even care.

I have yet to find a candidate whom I feel comfortable supporting. But, since I live in Pennsylvania, which doesn't hold its primary until May, it doesn't really matter anyhow. By the time I'm allowed to vote, the Democratic nominee will already have been decided by the voters in other states.

In 2003/4, I was all about Howard Dean. He was my dream candidate -- I couldn't really find an issue on which I disagreed with him. But then he lost out to John Kerry in the early primaries/caucuses, and by the time I got a chance to vote (and I did pull the lever for Dean, anyhow), he wasn't even in the running any longer. And then of course, Kerry lost in the general (did he even try to win?) and the country fell once again into the hands of the Repugnicans.

And so, I feel like I can't even care about the primaries, because I don't have a vote. And this year, even if I did have an actual vote, I don't know who I'd choose. None of the candidates appeal to me. It's almost as if the Democrats have given up, which makes me so sad that I'm becoming increasingly apolitical -- yes, me!

I really wish I didn't feel this way, too, because there are some seriously misguided people trying to hijack this country, and they are VERY political and will do whatever it takes to get their candidate elected. The people who believe that their religion should be the law of the land, and that Jeezus wants us all to have the right to carry concealed semi-automatic weapons, but not the right to universal health care. They would love for religion to shape public policy. For instance, I was reading a message board the other day on which someone actually said that they didn't believe in global warming, because why would "God" create a world that humans could destroy? I threw up a little after reading that.

Increasingly, I feel the desire to flee this country and its backwards, ignorance-driven politics. I told Matt yesterday that what I would really love is to sell one of my books and then be able to buy a small farm in the French countryside. I dream of living in a place like France -- where they have universal healthcare (and live longer), where you can attend college for free, where you can eat French food and drink French wine and speak beautiful French every day! Oui oui! ;)

I know it sounds like an off-the-wall pipe dream, even for me -- I mean, I've never even been to France, and I know that book royalties don't pay quite *that* much -- but the idea of leaving the USA behind is really appealing. It's frustrating to be a progressive in a society that seems bound and determined to move backwards, where even my own political party has taken to kowtowing to the religious right. I've tried for a long time to be a part of the solution, by doing my part and voting, calling/emailing my representatives, donating to progressive causes, going on peace marches, etc., but sometimes I think the most graceful thing a person can do is admit defeat and try to move on rather than continue to bang their head against the wall.