Saturday, March 27, 2010


Today marks 19 years since the first time my hubby and I kissed. We were just friends then, and in fact, if memory serves, he had a girlfriend at the time (although they were in the process of breaking up). Despite all that, I can still remember the events of the day pretty clearly.

We were on spring break from high school (he was a senior, I was a junior) and he asked me to come over and hang out one afternoon. It was the first time I had ever been to his house, and I met his mom and sister that day. We went up to his bedroom, ostensibly to watch tv/play games, but once we got into his room, he shut the door, turned around, and started kissing me.

I remember that it felt both odd and yet comfortably familiar, as if this was something we always did. It was unexpected, and yet not. After a few minutes, I made him stop, but then a little while later, being the wanton hussy that I am, I encouraged him to do it again ;)

We didn't officially become a couple for another two and a half years after that, although we were pretty much "friends with benefits" from that point forward. I think one day I woke up and realized that I had been in love with him for a long time... it just took me a while to get there.

Friday, March 26, 2010

One-liners, gender, and other thoughts

I feel like because I've been facebooking more than blogging recently, I can no longer write more than one or two lines at a time. Ideas pop into my head for stuff I want to write, but it's never much. For instance:

"The best thing about being pregnant after losing 120 lbs: no stretch marks thanks to all the extra skin!"

I don't have anything beyond that, just one line. Ah well.

In other news, we have our mid-pregnancy ultrasound scheduled for next week, and we may have the option of finding out the baby's gender. I'll admit that I'm curious, although the only real difference it makes to me is knowing which list of names I should concentrate on, and whether I should keep or get rid of the stash of baby girl clothes I've accumulated over the years or have my sister retrieve Jacob's baby clothes from her attic. But it seems like everyone around me is in a frenzy, needing to know right now what gender I'm having. I must get asked by the same people at least 3 or 4 times each week. It almost makes me NOT want to find out...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Wednesday wanderings

Today our car was in the shop and I had an appointment with my acupuncturist at his new office, so between the subway ride and the office I was able to peruse a Philly neighborhood I haven't spent much time in -- Fairmount. It's very cute there, and if I lived there I could walk to both my school and to Whole Foods (which I did after my appointment and had a lovely lunch -- vegetarian sushi and a chocolate croissant! Yum!) Unfortunately, the houses there are very expensive... *sigh*

I think a lot about moving. I like my house, but as I've probably mentioned a million time in this blog, I really don't like our neighborhood. Matt's job requires us to live within the city limits, and although I like living in the city I don't appreciate the fact that his employer dictates where we can live. I would love to move across the bridge to New Jersey, where the homeschooling laws are better, but that will have to wait until I finish college and become the primary wage-earner (I can hardly wait!) In the meantime, there are some Philly neighborhoods I certainly wouldn't mind considering, like East Mount Airy. The thought of the actual act of moving, however... oy....

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

It's been a while...

Almost a year since I posted anything here. Wow. And so much has changed since my last post!

Total weight loss to date is approximately 120 lbs. I still have about 30 more lbs I want to lose, but that will actually have to wait a while because I am pregnant.

Yes, it's true... after more than eight years of trying to get pregnant, then not trying, then trying to adopt, then not trying to adopt, then trying to get pregnant yet again, not getting pregnant, making peace with the idea of never having another biological child, and completing most of the paperwork necessary in order to pursue a domestic infant adoption, surprise! Without even trying, it happened. Weird.

It's been really difficult to wrap my head around. While I'm definitely happy to be having another child, it isn't the way I planned and so I've had to process a lot of different, conflicting emotions surrounding the whole thing. I have so many unanswerable questions in my brain all the time. Such as, why did my body decide to work NOW but not for the past 8+ years? (Even longer if you count the time I spent in infertility treatment for my first pregnancy). And, what about all the really hard work I did and money we spent on the adoption? Do we just discard that now?

As I've been driving myself slowly insane with all the wondering and questions, it has occurred to me that I process things best through writing. And so it's back to my blog I go, to try and sort through my thoughts in print rather than allow them to cloud my mind. I thought about starting a brand-new blog, since the things I'm dealing with now are vastly different than what I've blogged about in the past, but I don't know if I'll go that route or not. For now, I'm back here, and so far, it feels good :)