I feel like because I've been facebooking more than blogging recently, I can no longer write more than one or two lines at a time. Ideas pop into my head for stuff I want to write, but it's never much. For instance:
"The best thing about being pregnant after losing 120 lbs: no stretch marks thanks to all the extra skin!"
I don't have anything beyond that, just one line. Ah well.
In other news, we have our mid-pregnancy ultrasound scheduled for next week, and we may have the option of finding out the baby's gender. I'll admit that I'm curious, although the only real difference it makes to me is knowing which list of names I should concentrate on, and whether I should keep or get rid of the stash of baby girl clothes I've accumulated over the years or have my sister retrieve Jacob's baby clothes from her attic. But it seems like everyone around me is in a frenzy, needing to know right now what gender I'm having. I must get asked by the same people at least 3 or 4 times each week. It almost makes me NOT want to find out...
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Friday, March 26, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
It's been a while...
Almost a year since I posted anything here. Wow. And so much has changed since my last post!
Total weight loss to date is approximately 120 lbs. I still have about 30 more lbs I want to lose, but that will actually have to wait a while because I am pregnant.
Yes, it's true... after more than eight years of trying to get pregnant, then not trying, then trying to adopt, then not trying to adopt, then trying to get pregnant yet again, not getting pregnant, making peace with the idea of never having another biological child, and completing most of the paperwork necessary in order to pursue a domestic infant adoption, surprise! Without even trying, it happened. Weird.
It's been really difficult to wrap my head around. While I'm definitely happy to be having another child, it isn't the way I planned and so I've had to process a lot of different, conflicting emotions surrounding the whole thing. I have so many unanswerable questions in my brain all the time. Such as, why did my body decide to work NOW but not for the past 8+ years? (Even longer if you count the time I spent in infertility treatment for my first pregnancy). And, what about all the really hard work I did and money we spent on the adoption? Do we just discard that now?
As I've been driving myself slowly insane with all the wondering and questions, it has occurred to me that I process things best through writing. And so it's back to my blog I go, to try and sort through my thoughts in print rather than allow them to cloud my mind. I thought about starting a brand-new blog, since the things I'm dealing with now are vastly different than what I've blogged about in the past, but I don't know if I'll go that route or not. For now, I'm back here, and so far, it feels good :)
Total weight loss to date is approximately 120 lbs. I still have about 30 more lbs I want to lose, but that will actually have to wait a while because I am pregnant.
Yes, it's true... after more than eight years of trying to get pregnant, then not trying, then trying to adopt, then not trying to adopt, then trying to get pregnant yet again, not getting pregnant, making peace with the idea of never having another biological child, and completing most of the paperwork necessary in order to pursue a domestic infant adoption, surprise! Without even trying, it happened. Weird.
It's been really difficult to wrap my head around. While I'm definitely happy to be having another child, it isn't the way I planned and so I've had to process a lot of different, conflicting emotions surrounding the whole thing. I have so many unanswerable questions in my brain all the time. Such as, why did my body decide to work NOW but not for the past 8+ years? (Even longer if you count the time I spent in infertility treatment for my first pregnancy). And, what about all the really hard work I did and money we spent on the adoption? Do we just discard that now?
As I've been driving myself slowly insane with all the wondering and questions, it has occurred to me that I process things best through writing. And so it's back to my blog I go, to try and sort through my thoughts in print rather than allow them to cloud my mind. I thought about starting a brand-new blog, since the things I'm dealing with now are vastly different than what I've blogged about in the past, but I don't know if I'll go that route or not. For now, I'm back here, and so far, it feels good :)
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