Saturday, January 31, 2009

Stuck, stuck, STUCK!





See how Flick freaks out when he realizes his tongue is stuck to the flagpole? Yeah, that's me right now. Stuck.

I hate my house. I hate this city, and particularly the area of the city where I currently reside. I hate my husband's job most of all.

And every time I take a step forward and try and better my situation, I find my tongue frozen to the flagpole. Can't move, can't change jobs, can't change anything, because we're stuck.

Or maybe it's my mindset that's stuck. Maybe I should just suck it up and deal with the fact that I will always live in a house I hate, in a neighborhood I hate, getting income from a source I hate. Maybe it's all just my own hang-ups and there's really no reason to be so miserable. Maybe it's just the SAD rearing its ugly head, as it tends to do at this time every year. Maybe I don't deserve to be happy -- after all, everyone's miserable, right?

The stench of inertia is slowly choking the life out of me.

3 comments:

Ty-Anna said...

I decided to be dragged down into your misery. I can't say or speak on your situation or if it's a product of SAD. What I do know is that you are a wonderful Person, Wife and Mother and I'm glad I know you and hope some day to actually meet you even if you're in the house you hate, in the neighborhood you hate all paid for by the job you hate.

Jessica said...

I thought things were better with Matt's job, but I'm sorry to hear they're not. This time of year is rough, though. I feel it too. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

Buddhist In The West said...

If you cannot change the circumstance, I guess your attitude is the only thing left to be changed....

I used to hate my situation once, but I struggled on thru - cannot say i 'love' living overseas to my partner and best friend, or having my ex know my street address, having to live a feminist role as society said we all have to become so, etc - but I have learned not to 'hate' things - & that it is my own fault for past mistakes that I am suffering now...