Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Clarification

An explanation of why I was so whiny the other day:

Last week, Matt and Jacob and I took a trip down to the DC metro area so that Matt could take a test for a job. He aced the test and we were pretty confident that he would be offered the job. Then we started researching the area and found out that there's pretty much no way we'd be able to afford to live there -- the cost of housing is ridiculously high, and he'd actually be taking a pay cut to start.

Being an all-or-nothing thinker, I quickly plunged into the despair evident in my last post. I feel like I'm never going to get out of northeast Philadelphia, and like Matt is never going to get out of the dead-end job he's been stuck in for the past 14 years. I see this brilliant, talented man I love, wasting himself on a job that any high school graduate could do, when he is clearly meant for more, and it breaks my heart.

And I really, really need a change of scenery. I've lived in the same fucking neighborhood my whole life, and I hate it. Even a different part of Philly would be good, though ideally I'd like to move to another area. Even if I hate it and want to move back, at least I will have lived *somewhere* other than the armpit of the east coast.

Thanks for listening to me whine. Again.

From one of my favorite movies, Groundhog Day:

Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

5 comments:

Misty said...

oh Maggie... What exactly does Matt do? Are you looking primarily east coast or are you looking anywhere nationally?

I was so trapped in Michigan. Although it was only 7 years, I hated it and it looked like there was no way out. The path out that we got, SUCKED hugely- but in hindsight was totally worth it...

Sheri said...

Maggie, have you considered maybe living somewhere on the outskirts of DC and having Matt commute? I know it sucks to spend hours a day commuting, but if it is only short term until his pay rises to a point where you could move closer it may be worth it. Short term pain for long term gain. At least there would be an end in sight.
You wanna know what the really funny thing is? I actually ENVY you living in NE Philly. I absolutely LOVED the time I spent there and would go back in a second if the opportunity arose. ANYTHING is better than this pitiful little "nothing to do" town that I'm stuck in. Funny how the grass always seems greener huh? :)

Ty-Anna said...

I completely understand I've always lived in my city (not very big) and though I'm not hating it, I always yearn for a different experience and am a wee bit jealous of my younger sister who went to college in Chicago then graduate school in California. She's experienced so much and learned a lot and hey if she ever feels like it, she can just come back.

I hope opportunity comes knocking again soon my friend. :-)

Anonymous said...

awww i love you maggie. im here if you ever need to talk. i dont really like living in the city either id rather live in the suburbs and i know what its like to watch someone do a job that sux. lol me and mike are both doing that lol. cant wait to see you for con! loves and hugs!
<3 Alyson

Buddhist In The West said...

Tomorrow might be a better day to look at things - hugs!