Tuesday, March 9, 2010

It's been a while...

Almost a year since I posted anything here. Wow. And so much has changed since my last post!

Total weight loss to date is approximately 120 lbs. I still have about 30 more lbs I want to lose, but that will actually have to wait a while because I am pregnant.

Yes, it's true... after more than eight years of trying to get pregnant, then not trying, then trying to adopt, then not trying to adopt, then trying to get pregnant yet again, not getting pregnant, making peace with the idea of never having another biological child, and completing most of the paperwork necessary in order to pursue a domestic infant adoption, surprise! Without even trying, it happened. Weird.

It's been really difficult to wrap my head around. While I'm definitely happy to be having another child, it isn't the way I planned and so I've had to process a lot of different, conflicting emotions surrounding the whole thing. I have so many unanswerable questions in my brain all the time. Such as, why did my body decide to work NOW but not for the past 8+ years? (Even longer if you count the time I spent in infertility treatment for my first pregnancy). And, what about all the really hard work I did and money we spent on the adoption? Do we just discard that now?

As I've been driving myself slowly insane with all the wondering and questions, it has occurred to me that I process things best through writing. And so it's back to my blog I go, to try and sort through my thoughts in print rather than allow them to cloud my mind. I thought about starting a brand-new blog, since the things I'm dealing with now are vastly different than what I've blogged about in the past, but I don't know if I'll go that route or not. For now, I'm back here, and so far, it feels good :)

4 comments:

Jessica said...

Welcome back!

Misty said...

and glad you are back- I am...

Jenny said...

Well, Congratulations are in order. It's funny how things happen.

Songbird1083 said...

Glad to see you're writing again. It's good for the soul. Love you.