Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Blog for Choice Day

Taking a slightly different than usual perspective on the matter of choice...

I am a mother. I always wanted to be a mother. I wanted my career to be my life with my family. In one high school class, we were required to make a collage of things we wanted in our lives, and mine had a big picture of a gorgeous, smiling baby in the middle.

I fought a difficult battle with infertility to get to be a mother. I was 23 when I started treatments, and at that time I was the youngest patient my doctor had ever treated. Through his skill and a stroke of good fortune, I was able to conceive and give birth to a wonderful little boy (who is almost as tall as me now!). And I am still fighting the battle with infertility, as I don't feel my family is yet complete.

The choice to become a parent is maybe *the* most life-altering decision a woman can make. I didn't make it lightly. But this is my choice. I chose to be a mother. I'm choosing to have a second child, if possible. There are some who don't agree with my decisions. With my IQ (148) I had the potential to "do something" with my life, and at 23 having babies should have been the furthest thing from my mind. But I made the choice that was right for me, and I don't regret it.

I imagine what it might have been like not to have a choice. What if I had gone to the doctor at age 23 and he had refused to treat me, because of my age or economic status? What if he refused to treat me now, because of my advancing years? What if the law stated that people under a certain age -- or over a certain IQ! -- couldn't have children, and had to make some sort of economic contribution to society? Should someone else be able to decide for me if and when I should become a parent? Even if they believe with their whole heart and soul that it's not the right path for me?

Of course not. It's my decision, and nobody else has the right to interfere with my choice for my life. We can't just arbitrarily decide for someone else what their choice should be, no matter how strong our convictions to the contrary.


Misty said...

this is exactly how I feel... Although I would love to see women explore other options than Abortion- I have to stand for choice. It isn't a matter of what I feel is right or wrong. Bottom line is, if we allow the government to completely control this one angle of a woman's right to choose- it won't be long until they are just taking every other right contained in this arena. So, i stand for choice and feel that instead of the ongoing (and often overly religious/petty) debates and fights they should simply use their time and money to educate...
this was a beautiful post, Maggie. Of course!

Nathan said...

Yea for real!!! Like it needs to be a choice to be a parent.
I see soo many AWFUL parents out there and i'm sure they wish they didn't become parents when they did- ick.

Ty-Anna said...

I applaud women who fight the pressure to go out and "be something" when they don't feel the need to and want more than anything to have and care for their family. It's something I think that if MORE women were able to do so we would have a slightly different society.

I'm not a fan of abortion but I understand the importance of choice.